Nobody’s Coming: Learning to Be Your Own Backup Plan

They don’t tell you this in school.

They don’t tell you this in college.

Hell, they don’t even tell you this over all those “mentorship” coffee meetings where everyone says, “just build your network.”

And don’t get me wrong—networking is powerful. It helps you build a Plan B. It gives you people to lean on when you’re stuck. Pro tip: If you’re in Nashville, check out Connect Nashville Business Networking. It’s one of the best groups I’ve found for building real connections.

But here’s the ugly truth no one warns you about:

When you’ve burned through your network…

When you’ve called every specialist you know…

When you realize you don’t know the one person who could fix this…

Nobody’s coming.

Not to fix it.

Not to bail you out.

Not to make the hard decision for you.

There will be a day maybe several when you’re staring down a problem so big it feels alive. Your team is frozen. Leadership is silent. The people you thought would have your back? Nowhere in sight. And in that silence, you’ll hear it: “You’re it. You’re the backup plan.”

School taught us to raise our hand

The system rewards compliance.

Ask for help.

Wait for instructions.

Follow the chain of command.

That works fine when the stakes are low and the bell rings at 3 PM.

But out here?

Out here, there is no bell.

No substitute teacher.

No late pass.

When a vendor drops the ball on a critical shipment…

When a client ghosts after six months of work…

When the cooling cuts out at 2 AM and your servers are frying…

You don’t get to wait.

You don’t get to hope someone else steps in.

You get to decide.

And you get to own whatever happens next.

The brutal gift of self-reliance

There’s a moment when it clicks when the fear of being alone in it turns into fuel. You stop looking for a savior. You stop waiting for permission. You start building systems, contingencies, and a mindset that says: “If I don’t do this, nobody will.” It’s not about being a lone wolf. It’s about becoming unflinching when you’re the last line of defense.

So what now?

Here’s the truth:

Hope for support.

Build relationships.

Mentor others and accept mentorship when it’s offered.

Teach your team to lead independently.

But…

Never outsource your survival.

Never believe someone else cares as much about your problem as you do.

Never assume the cavalry is coming.

Because one day, it won’t and if you’ve done the work?

You won’t need it.