the department of Christmas spirits: year end report

It’s that time again the annual performance review from the HR Department of Christmas Spirits. And let me tell you, the ghosts have notes.

The Ghost of Christmas Past reports that several of you are still replaying that meeting from March where Steve said, “Let’s circle back,” and then never did. It haunts you. Literally.

The Ghost of Christmas Present is concerned about the general level of workplace morale. He says you’re all walking around like half-wrapped gifts: present, but not really there. Honestly, he’s recommending some not-quite-so-strict enforcement of working hours, no after-hours festivities, and a firm “No” to any meetings this week.

The Ghost of Christmas Future is the one we’re a little worried about. She’s been spotted lurking in shared drives, whispering things like “process documentation” and “January planning sessions.” We’ve asked her to cool it. No one’s ready for Q1 energy in December. It’s like Mariah Carey thawing in October. Stop it.

But seriously if you’re still working this week, you deserve a medal. Or at least a candy cane and a PTO request form. The rest of the world is operating at 12% effort and 88% cookie intake. Join them. You’ve earned it.

This season isn’t about endless productivity. It’s about pausing. Laughing. Reflecting. And maybe ghosting a few emails (with permission from the spirits, of course).

Merry Almost-Christmas, you glorious, semi-checked-out legends.